The Adventures of Mistress Gail and the Unfortunate Fates of Dan DiDio and Frank Miller
Fandom: RPF - Comics industry
Written for: RubyNye in the Yuletide 2007 Challenge
by pervyficgirl
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I am not Gail Simone, Dan DiDio, Devin Grayson, or Frank Miller, nor do I pretend to know what they do in their off hours.
Dan DiDio had a large, very important desk.
During meetings with writers, Dan liked to run his hands over the full width of the desk's front just above the drawers that contained very important pencils and very powerful paper clips.
Gail Simone had been a part of one too many of those important meetings to believe that the desk fondling was anything other than a blatant act of masturbation.
While it wasn't why Dan and his accomplice were bent over the desk, handcuffed to the handles on the very massive drawers of Dan's very manly desk, with their pants pulled down to their ankles, it did add a nice air of appropriateness to the setting.
At least, Gail thought so, as she swung her paddle lightly at her side. The gentle "whoosh" sound the act made stood in marked discord to both the frantic gasps and mewling apologies of the two bound men, and the resounding crack of Devin Grayson's flogger against their skin.
Gail was an independent woman - or a man-hating bitch, if you asked the man tied up next to Dan, but considering the length of time it took Frank Miller to complete his projects these days and the fact that he seemed to think it appropriate for a full grown man to force a child to eat rats...well, Gail wasn't certain she should be relying on his brain for any information, even info as simple as synonyms. She had the fleeting thought that she should ask him why exactly he thought Wonder Woman had a need to be fucked into submission by Superman, but while it might have added some little bit of extra insight into her current work, Gail was certain she wouldn't have room for it next to the monkeys and trying to make the plot line of rendering DC's most powerful superheroine powerless any time she wasn't in costume actually not make brains bleed.
In fact, Gail prided herself on her independence, and as such, this had originally been a solo mission. A little spanking and flogging of the two men was nothing she couldn't have handled herself.
But Devin had asked so nicely to join her.
In the spirit of the kind of sisterhood that surely Diana of Themyscira would have approved of, Gail had acquiesced.
Watching Devin's handiwork, Gail was pleased with her decision. The woman knew her way around a flogger.
"Is your hand growing tired, dear?" Gail asked. It was important to be considerate in these matters.
"Not at all," Devin said cheerfully. "But sadly, I suspect their skin is."
Gail sighed, in the most put upon matter she possibly could. It should have sounded familiar to Dan, considering its similarity with the one he used whenever anyone brought up the idea of a Stephanie Brown Memorial in the Batcave.
Walking over to the front of both men, Gail crossed her arms and waited for them to acknowledge her.
"Please let us go," Dan begged. "I'm sorry, and we'll never suggest it again!"
"Yes," Frank added, though his words were spat through gritted teeth.
"Somehow, I'm doubting your sincerity, Frankie," Gail said, with a disappointed shake of her head. "What do we have to do to make you repent? Break skin?"
"No!" Dan weeped. "Please, Mistress Gail, show us mercy."
Mistress Gail. She could get used to that.
She also wondered how long it would take to get Bendis to call her that.
"I'm sorry," Frank apologized again, still tripping over the word, but sounding more truthful than he had before.
Gail could work with that. She wasn't an unreasonable woman. "Sorry for what?" she prompted, tapping her paddle steadily against the palm of her hand.
"I'm sorry for thinking retelling A Streetcar Named Desire with Superman and Wonder Woman in the lead roles was ever a good idea," Frank answered, and just hearing the idea aloud again truly tempted Gail to let Devin continue flogging them.
"And I'm sorry I thought about letting him," Dan sobbed. "I'm sorry I thought he should write a few issues of Wonder Woman to introduce the arc. I'm sorry for Amazons Attack. I'm sorry for the Black Canary Wedding Planner. I'm sorry for laughing at the competition's Mary Jane Statue debacle. I'm sorry for -"
Gail waved her paddle in the air. "Hush," she ordered. "We don't have time to listen to you list every stupid thing you've done this year. We're busy women."
"Of course, Mistress Gail," Dan agreed readily.
"We're very sorry," Frank added. "So you can let us go now."
Gail caught Devin's amused gaze and rolled her eyes at their subjects before walking around the desk to stand behind them. "Oh, Frankie, dear, I haven't even had my turn yet," she said. "That was Devin having all the fun. Those internet rumors about you not being able to tell one woman from the other must have some validation after all."
Devin giggled, and it provided a nice harmony to the sound of Gail's paddle smacking against Frank's very red backside.
She'd take it easy on them - ten whacks a piece should do it. After all, she wasn't as young as she used to be, and she didn't want to wear out her paddling arm.
There were at least five other people on the list for Mistress Gail and Mistress Devin to visit before the year was up, and the last thing she wanted to do was overexert herself and pull a muscle.
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